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There was a man from Oswestry
who had to have an ostomy.
He had no use for his old bum
for faeces flowed from out his tum.
Like the man I knew from York
who resorted to a cork.
But he knew eventually
he’d have to have an ostomy.
Then there’s the man from London town
who used to make his trousers brown.
But now he doesn’t have that drag
for he can simply wear a bag.
There was a man who came from Wales
had trouble with his own entrails.
But when the surgeon used the knife
the ostomy gave back his life.
There was a man from Brechin City
whose life could be described as shitty.
Until that day he had the op
‘twas then his shittiness did stop.
There was a man I knew from Kent
whose life had been in toilets spent.
Then suddenly he was set free
when once he had his ostomy.
There was a man that came from Leeds
who had unmentionable needs.
I cannot go right into it.
suffice to say, it concerned shit.
Once I met a man from Herts,
who suffered with his rectal parts.
But like the others, said to me
his saviour was his ostomy.
Reproduced by kind permission of Bill Withers.
THERE WAS A MAN
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