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I said Ah, God! What have I done
that thou hast disembowelled me,
and left me here to live?
I feel as Job, my life is gone before my eyes.
Thou humblest me in my own mire
with hope most gone.
Thou hast begotten me an idiot child
in my latter years, who needs me every hour,
and will not grow out of her condition.
I clean, I wipe, I clean again. Ah, God!
Is this my life, to care for her both night and day?
She tells me what I can and cannot eat,
what clothes to wear, what times to keep.
She gurgles like the infant that she is.
I can but sigh. And yet, so pink and almost fair,
she is a wonder, and I must declare
I learn, I learn from her.
She is my family, my closest kin anon!
A blessing, first disguised in pain.
I smile. I feel love grow, and realize
no parents ever left their child unnamed.
I whisper Tommy, and her gurgling call
binds me in healing gratitude to her.
I thank thee, God. I thank thee dearly now.
LOVE MY OSTOMY
Reproduced by kind permission of Barbara.
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