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100% accuracy at time of writing cannot be guaranteed.  A listing in this website is provided for informational purposes only, and does not mean it is an endorsement.  All companies listed are tried at the reader’s own risk.  All information provided is intended as a supplement to any professional help already

given.  Before acting on suggestions from anyone, ostomates are advised to check with a doctor or stoma care nurse that the course of action is suitable

for them. Whilst every care is taken, the author will not be held responsible.









Arthur was born one Sunday night

due to the surgeon’s knife.

I didn't quite expect him, but

he helped to save my life.


To try and gain a pain-free life

that was my only goal.

I woke to find that things had changed.

I'd gained an extra hole.


He doesn't look offensive,

he's a rose that's still in bud.

Mainly he stays quiet.

But he's not always so good.


Six thirty every morning,

he thinks it’s time to wake.

He rustles up my breakfast

with a steaming hot pancake.


He then relaxes for a while.

I can forget he's there.

Generally he's pretty good

but sometimes he's a 'mare.


You can't relax with him around 

because all of sudden,

the thunder starts to rumble,

he can fart just like a good 'un.


Sometimes he is docile

and you hear nothing for hours.

The next he's filling up the bags, 

like he has super powers.


He can be really smelly

and gives out quite a reek.

And when he is mischievous, 

he can cause your bag to leak.


I've told you all the bad things,

but he really is my friend.

‘Cause ever since I've had him,

I've been slowly on the mend.


So raise a glass to Arthur.

He will probably stay for ever.

And we can make it through this life 

as long as we're together.
















 


 



























   















































(10.08.2010)




Reproduced by kind permission of Rob Fearn.

24.07.2018






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POEMS

ARTHUR THE STOMA