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The worst aroma I have smelt,
was from the stoma ‘neath my belt.
What we knew about that smell,
‘twas like a poo right out of hell.
It started like a stinking fart,
but blew the blinking bag apart.
Of all the stinks I’ve burst before,
methinks this was the worst for sure.
Just everyone from miles around,
must have heard the resounding sound.
But when comparing sound to smell,
then smell we found we could not quell.
When people try to keep away,
this smell is sly and means to stay.
It’s quick to stick to everything,
and also clings to anything.
It seemed to creep around the place,
then deemed to leap up in your face.
And no one knows just why it chose
to make its way straight to the nose.
I s’ppose the nose one must conclude
was predisposed to just protrude.
We sniff the odour from below,
so up the nose the whiff will flow.
So this much I can guarantee,
there’s no such smell to this degree.
Its reputation as a stench
is said to make whole nations wrench.
I think those with an ostomy
will know this stink, because to me
they may have started out this way,
and lived to fart another day.
Reproduced by kind permission of Bill Withers.
A SMELL FROM HELL
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